meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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