I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
