I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
