My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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