my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
ugly people sure do ruin things
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize