he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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