ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
