This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I touched a dick in church today
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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