I am puke
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
