We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My feet surprised me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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