Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
