wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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