my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
