Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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