They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
