u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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