He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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