I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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