The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
