Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
