Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just cropdusted the office
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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