I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
