Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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