so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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