The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
