So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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