his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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