i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
