Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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