I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
