I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
