On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
