and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
