its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
