So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I look better un-naked...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
