I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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