Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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