I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
