just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
