i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
