i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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