He kissed a someone with a penis
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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