so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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