I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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