i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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