One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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