I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
