So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
