we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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