Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
