Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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