That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
