I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
