you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
